\Well, 2020 sure has been something special, hasn’t it? This year has made a significant impact on just about everyone and its effects will be felt for many years to come. Regardless of the pandemic’s negative impact on my daily life and future plans, I’ve worked hard to remain as positive and optimistic as possible. I’ve tried to see the good in every situation, stay focused on what is important, and reject the negativity. Doing this hasn’t been easy and there have been lots of ups and downs.
Our ability to have social interactions with family, friends, colleagues and my students hasn’t been the same since March. When I wrote my last blog post on April 1, I had no idea I’d be writing about “surviving” this pandemic at the end of November! And the most difficult part is having to accept the fact that it will be with us for quite a while longer. I remain hopeful that we will overcome the virus earlier than anticipated by the release of vaccines which have been showing great promise in their early stages. I do understand that these things take time and the vaccines aren’t a miracle cure. I know it will be a while until COVID-19 is truly a thing of the past.
The thing I miss most during this pandemic is interacting with people. I miss the daily face to face interaction with my colleagues and students at school and seeing people at meetings and conferences. I miss having all of my students in class together to learn and create beautiful music. I miss shaking hands, dishing out high fives, giving hugs, and being able to look people in the eye (and I don’t mean on Zoom, Google Meet, or Teams!). I also miss being able to do things in groups — attending gatherings, concerts, sporting events, etc.
I feel fortunate that I have been able to hang out with a small group of friends and family, but even that has been within a very limited capacity. I am grateful for the quarantined time I have with my family, and in an odd way, I hope the pandemic has made all of us appreciate our time together even more. I am grateful for my family and our continued health and safety.
I am EXTREMELY grateful for April 10, 2020. That’s the day Stacy and I were married! While we were originally prepared to have our wedding on April 17, we quickly postponed it to October 3 once the virus became a pandemic. A few weeks later, the pandemic brought about even more uncertainty into our lives so we decided to push up our wedding date and spontaneously tie the knot via Zoom. It was a beautiful day and we had a lovely small ceremony in our front yard. I was grateful that we were able to have a large number of friends and family Zoom in to witness our unity. I am grateful that my good friend David Eccles offered to serve as our officiant and help make our ceremony extra special. While we were saddened that we could not have the reception/celebration we wanted, we are still hopeful that we will be able to celebrate this on our one year anniversary in 2021. Time will tell, but we are excited for when that day finally arrives!
So, while 2020 has been attributed to a lot of negativity, the anniversary of our marriage is one day I will remember and be able to celebrate forever. I am so fortunate to have Stacy in my life — she is a person who is tremendously kind, caring, selfless, and supportive. She is an incredible stem-mom to our boys and we all cherish her more than she knows.
School/Work
The school year started out 100 percent virtual and I feel my district did a really good job of transitioning students in to face to face (F2F) learning. Students and parents have a choice to remain remote or come to school F2F. Currently, I see only a fraction of my students F2F — just about 15% of them decided to return. The sizes of my F2F classes range from just 2 students to my largest class of 7. This is extremely difficult for me and my students, as we are used to 30-50 students per class! I miss my students greatly. Their absence and the lack of spontaneous music-making has had a dramatic impact on my overall happiness at school. I am, however, extremely grateful for the students I do have in class and have really enjoyed getting to know them on a more personal level. Regularly I worry that I am not able to give my students my absolute best and that I’m unable to provide the experience that they want and need. Just before this Thanksgiving break, I received some really kind notes from several of my students. Those sincere notes of kindness really mean the world to me and keep me going. They reassure me that I am making a difference, even though some days it feels like I am not. I am honestly doing my best and putting in as much effort as I can. I am trying to be optimistic about the future and the hope that we will be able to unite and play together again sometime next semester.
I worry greatly about my students who are home learning remotely. I know many of them are struggling with school and staying organized. I know many don’t have the opportunity to be social. I know many of them are taking shortcuts to do their assignments or cheating on tests because they have the power of the internet at their fingertips. I fear that remote learning is breeding a new level of laziness and apathy with our youth and having a drastic, negative impact on their mental health. Also, there are so many distractions that prevent students from focusing. I just hope we can get students back to normal soon so all of this does not become a life-long habit.
As an adult, I can’t really fully comprehend how difficult it must be for a child or young adult to cope with being quarantined. I know that some of my students have lost all motivation and some are simply making the choice not to actively participate in class. All I can do is continuously remind them daily how much I care, do my best to motivate them, and set a good example. I try to encourage them to go outside, stay active, and be healthy both physically and mentally. I remind them that good physical and mental health are closely correlated. I have been extremely understanding and empathetic with my students, knowing that some may be in very difficult circumstances personally, socially, financially, etc. Some of my star students have not done well during remote learning and it’s disheartening to see the degradation of their drive, motivation, and attention to detail.
My good friend, Scott Liard, who also teaches high school orchestra, wrote a public letter to his students on his blog. I could essentially replicate his letter, change the school name references, and it would tell my students exactly how I feel. (Thank you, Scott!) So I will sum it up… To my students: Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life. I appreciate you and care about you. I am sorry you are being forced into such a difficult scenario. You don’t deserve it but I know we can get through this together. I’m doing my best and I am here for you.
I know many educators feel the way I do, but I also know that some are in different situations. Some teachers have large classes of F2F students. This situation may cause teachers to be afraid of becoming infected, cause them to feel helpless, or even make them quit teaching altogether. I worry about the future of the teaching profession.
I am grateful for my amazing colleagues at Alpharetta High School and in Fulton County who have been absolutely incredible throughout this time. While we haven’t had a F2F faculty meeting, you can feel the unity and sincerity of both faculty and administration even via Microsoft Teams! The care and support I have witnessed coming from my administration and colleagues have been incredible. It is an honor to be able to work and grow with such a fantastic group of people and I just love how we are all there for each other!! Thank you, friends!!
Hope for Unity
The events that have unfolded this year, including the recent election have been so dividing for our country and, unfortunately, have distanced me from some people in my life, including those that I love and will continue to love. This makes me very sad. I do my best to remain respectful, neutral, and non-confrontational when it comes to events, politics, affiliations, etc., although I have not been perfect. I am concerned about how the division will impact social circles, families, and our nation as a whole going forward. It is my hope that we will all be able to begin being civil, accepting, and respectful toward one another to allow for unity. Unity makes us all stronger and happier. Easier said than done, I know.
I see a lot of anger, hate, and negative energy being thrown around on social media. I see a lot of fake news and people spreading it to support the agenda that they want to believe is correct, even if there is no evidence. As an academic, I believe in reason, science, and research-based practices. I make every effort to read balanced news and try to look at both sides before making my decisions. I try to be mindful, respect others, and keep my business to myself. Again, I’ve made mistakes and have owned up to them.
Regardless of who wins/loses this election or any election, the world will continue to spin and life will move on. You are in charge of your life, not anyone else. Only you can make choices that determine the outcome of your life and choices that determine your happiness. Believing this is not being naive, “in denial,” or “living in a fantasy world,” it is about creating the world that you want to create through positive thinking, perspective gratitude, hope, and optimism.
I understand that all of this may be easy for me to say and do. It’s not. My life hasn’t been all roses. I haven’t always won every battle I’ve faced. I’ve had to work hard and fight to overcome adversity and other internal and external barriers that have been in my way. I still do. But I feel that it is important to continue to carry myself in a positive manner, be a good role model, and care about others through genuine sincerity and empathy. Everyone has their own story to tell.
Determined Optimism
I was deeply inspired by an article in People magazine interviewing Michael J. Fox, one of my favorite actors who played the legendary Marty McFly in my favorite movie of all time, Back to the Future. As most of you know, Michael has been fighting Parkinson’s disease for a long time and had several other difficult, life-altering events happen to him. Despite all of his obstacles and hurdles, Michael talks about how he still loves his life and about he can stay optimistic, regardless of what has happened or what will/could happen. He describes it as “determined optimism.” He states that optimism is rooted in gratitude and that it is only sustainable when you continuously refer back to gratitude. When something bad happens, you should seek out what you are grateful for and that will allow for optimism. The last step is acceptance — you move on and keep going.
I encourage you to reject the negativity in your lives. Distance yourself from those who demonstrate hypocrisy, jealousy, anger, and spite. These people and their emotions can be the kryptonite that prevents you from staying positive and optimistic. As I look ahead to the winter, the pandemic is running wild and worse now than ever. I have faith that an end is coming and life will someday be “back to normal.” Until then continue to be grateful for everything you can and it will help you to stay positive and be optimistic about the future.
I wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving and holiday season! Peace and joy!
Charles